As long as we as a culture idolize the rich, (even though we act like we hate them, maybe we do, but we want to be them,) as long as we idolize the rich and the powerful, as long as we idolize money, worship money, as long as we focus on what we don't have enough of, we will be diseased, we will continue to self destruct, if we will continue to look aghast at their excesses but secretly wish we too were above the reach of the law, we will never have a just society.


Many individuals would look upon this idea with disdain and disbelief, yet only a few moments of reflection could reveal the truth of every person to every person. Is it not reflected in popular culture, entertainment, advertising, the ideas that wealth and power buy everything that relates to happiness and freedom. Are we not encouraged by beautiful people to fill our hearts with the things that these beautiful people are holding, touching, drinking, buying?


How many gadgets and toys do (you) have? And how many justifications to go with them? And what scheme best props up these whims? Credit! Money is the mirage on the horizon, dancing before your starving eyes. Fake tits, cuff links, nice cars, expensive dinners, private jets, the glory goes to the mob and Scarface T-shirts pour in and then out of the malls. Practice talking like a gangster. Does pop culture just take the worst example of societal ills and sell them to suburbia? Suffering is for sale and is great entertainment! It's also quite funny too, anyone remember the TV show cops? Or “the Faces of Death” the cult favorite of the 80's.


Our current suffering as a society is the funniest of all now as we have a sadistic clown as the leader of our country, and all his little lesser imps and demons from the woodwork surface in the streets and state legislatures to wreck havoc on the hive mind, doubtless in every way sponsored by our best worst enemy, the revived, not so new, not so improved red menace. Money is the rule, money is thy god and thy weapons shall bring forth thy multitudes, and thy multitudes shall multiply in disarray and thy armies will replenish unending until the end of all. And what weapon shall touch thee in thy ivory tower?

still trying to figure out how to heal my forearms- it seems to be a step forward two back and so on until it seems to go about ten steps back- my forearms feel like chop meat right now.

i have two appointments this week to continue work on the... situation, one with a massage therapist the other with the physical therapist. 

it seems that i over did practice last week and probably in my zeal to play for got to stretch before hand. it's difficult to find the lines that you should not cross, rather i should say it's difficult to recognize them and respect them.....

i need to travel. i'm stuck now, in a shell, in a skull, in a world

it's a circular  track, i'm afraid to walk out the exit door,

i see people out there and some of them are my friends-

i have too many excuses which really amount to none but i'm still stuck.

how am i still stuck?

why?

(i have just ultimately realized that i need to throw away my light box! but can i?!!!) 

how do you let go of a security that is based in complacency? i'm not secure, nor do i feel secure, so why do i have to stay in this one place and wonder why i can't leave???

how many times do you fall on your face in life?

uncountable is the number.

blessed are the things and people you find to help you rise again.

i feel utterly defeated.

i had to take two weeks off of playing.
had a coupla gigs last weekend, i'm still not up to snuff. i'm trying to practice again,
but i'm terrified and depressed because i can't seem to play like i did before.

do i take another week off???

do i continue practicing only and a hour or a half every day to build back up?

i have to see a doctor about this.

this sucks.

learned Sheebeg and Sheemore today, clawhammer style.

started out with an hour or so of scales and then moved to some tunes i hadn't messed with in a while. reviewed Sweet Sunny South and then went on to the above mentioned Sheebeg and Sheemore.

Boom.

well, i learned Sweet Sunny South today with Dm tuning.
Started working on Sheebeg Sheemore, clawhammer style- haven't learned a clawhammer tune in years...
John Hartford's Long Hot Summer Day is killin' me, this one i can't seem to grab a hold of yet....it's drivin' me nuts!

i try to get at least two hours of banjo practice a day, some days i get anywhere from five to eight hours. lately it's been melodic minor scales and modes (not that i remember mode names or anything...), minor pentatonic scales and blues licks and new tunes! 

for years i hated learning new songs, it used to be really frustrating but now i've come to really enjoy the process, besides that is one of the sure fire ways to actually improve (jamming is another). you must constantly challenge yourself! in conjunction with that thought,  in the least two months i have acquired three new projects to work on, two in which i have a whole new repertoire to learn and one where i'm teaching some tunes that i needed a kick in the pants to work on. 

also conducting my first banjo clinic in two weeks up in Dallas Tx....
alright signing off for now.

march blind to the - ecstatic pulse of the
one true heart the - infamous thing
multitudes ravenous de - vour the poison fruit

all my devices - drive me insane but i'm
really too consumed to - notice, a
consumer consumed by - consumption, you
sell to my vanity, i - purchase my ego

{  .....  }

you been medicated & syndicated feeling
validated & educated not real-
izing you been -  isolated
subjugated and violated....